Pick of the day – True Blood Season Finale!

Bill and Eric get a little too hot and bothered

(Caution…spoilers ahead) 

Holy Crispy Vampire! Once again, “True Blood” kills all of its characters outdoes itself! In what I thought was one of the best season endings since Brooke stole Billy from Allison and Kimberly blew up the building, Sookie and Co. really suffered through some delicious cliffhangers in the season finale.

Halloween arrived a bit early to find a dizzing amout of carnage. Jesus forked! Nan staked! Methhead Debbie and pseudo lesbian Tara shot in the brains! (Tara’s death is someone suspect but whatevs)

Clearly the best parts were not those that featured Bon Temp’s alumni biting the wooden bullet (as great as those were) but that featured my favorites Holly and Pam! This episode found my new favorite character Holly (who’s real life sis is Elaine Benes) toking it up, trying to shake her paranoia. Ok really, pot calms you down? I must be an alien.

And Pam! Probably the best line ever, paraphrasing-‘I’m sick of Sookie and her unbelievably dumb name’ and ‘Eric used to spit on the bones of Cindy Crawford’

Ugh, I love True Blood!

Patrick’s pick of the day-Gwyneth Paltrow’s scalp flap

Gwyneth Paltrow's other skin flaps

If anyone (me) ever left watching “Seven” feeling disappointed that we didn’t get to see what Gwyneth “Goop” Paltrow’s decapitated head looked like inside that cardboard  box, you’re in luck.

In the germalicious film “Contagion,” starring Goop as the numero uno piece of crap that turns the majority of the population into foaming at the mouth balls of pasty flesh, our dreams come to fruition. Once our goopy Goop meets her maker after catching a nasty bought of virus, the docs at large perform the most hilarious autopsy on Mrs. Who the hell would want to have sex with my husband.  (Sorry Goop but your husband is totally gross).

Seriously I started to laugh in the theater once the doctor severed her scalp and pulled back that peroxided piece of skin, resting it gently over her goopy face. While I’m sure her brain was really withered by her monthly detox of lemon water and sessions of kissing Beyonce’s ass, Goop’s brain was revealed to be destroyed by the contagious virus.

Either way, it was totally gross and awesome at the same time. If there’s any reason to see “Contagion”, aside from seeing a bunch of other Academy Award winners die, it’s seeing Goop’s milky, wet scalp flap. Enjoy!