Klu Klux Kardashian
Season’s greetings from the creepiest of families, the Kuntrashians.
Posted: December 22, 2011 in Goop0
Justin Theroux watch out, Tim might tebow into Jen's Aniston
In a shocking turn of events that completely outshone the absurd omission of Madonna’s W.E. from the Golden Globes, People magazine (which I’m now referring to as Sheeple) announced that Tim Tebow’s favorite actress is non other than Jolie’s arch nemesis, Jen Aniston. I’m sure he has the “Breakup” on rotation with his Philippines circumcision videos and always gets his girlfriend 12 lemons because that’s what baby wants. It also mentioned that Will Smith is his favorite “actor”. I was kind of surprised that it wasn’t someone more wholesome like Kurt Cameron from Growing Pains, but sometimes life is just that shocking.
Thanks People for the indepth coverage. Now I can sleep at night.
And for those of you who really have a hard on for Tebow, People also has a gallery of his sexiest picks. Sometimes, Christmas miracles do come true!
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20553140_21093081,00.html#21093070
What time is it? 2:30?
Ok so anyone who knows me, knows that bad oral hygeine is a no no, or in this case a li lo.
Here is la Blohan flashing what I thought from a distance was her new yellow gold grill. But upon further inspection, its her actual teeth. Ugh. This makes very little sense to me, seeing as she spends plenty of time in Rumpelstilskin’s Spindler a hair salon getting those trashy weave implants. I guess she’s too much of a liability to sit in a dentist’s office.
Word to the wise people, meth = these teeth.
You little piece of dribble piss!
No, this isn’t an image of Carrie and Miranda from the upcoming ‘Sex and the City 3: Get Carried away in a Hearse’, its Ab Fab’s Patsy and Edina, Sweetie!
The series, slated for a 3 episode run next summer, is one of my all-time favorites. There is nothing better than seeing two completely drunk, over-the-hill women trade insults while looking completely ridiculuous.
Though I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical when I heard of the revivial of ‘Absolutely Fabulous,’ being that the ladies are old as dirt. But upon seeing this teaser photo, it seems like they have a great plastic surgeon time has stood still!
Here’s one of my favorite Quotes, which will hopefully get you out of your Tuesday slump!
Mother: “Talking to yourself dear? That’s the first sign of madness you know.” Edina: “Really? I thought it was talking to you.”
Mr. Bunchen in more lesbianic times
Patriots fans rejoice, Tom Brady is no longer metrosexual folicially challenged.
In a brazen move most likely brought on by his supermodel wife (she was probably sick of being less pretty than Tom), the oh so silky locks are gone. He probably got piss drunk off Zimas, walked into his $400 hair salon and told Vidal to chop it away.
I personally liked his Bieberesque hair swoop, but I digress. Either way, he’s still the best looking model in football today.
Here’s the new do in its glory, albeit covered:
Peace out Metrosexuality
When good cats happen to strange people
Googly Eyes does it again! Our optically-voluptious Allison rose about the other over-the-hill fame junkies models and stole this week’s episode of ANTM!
While I did pause with uncertainty and promised to quit this show should Allison go home (Take note Tyra or you’ll lose half your audience!), I was proven wrong!. She not only won the interview challenge with Extra’s own AC Slater (she can string two sentences together!) but also the photo shoot (booty tooching in stilts!)
Angelea's a strong bitch, but she's a weak bitch too
Aside from my beloved Peaches Geldof Allison, all the girls were pretty lame and fell flat in their photos. Nigel said that sleepy Bre looked like Blade Runner (I do declare you are an idiot Nigel) and Lisa can continuously look like herself (what…a stretch). Seriously Lisa keep your smiling snatch shut.
In the end, Penile defunct ISIS and 716 Angelea were the bottom two, with Angelea escaping elimination despite that she looked like a bent over cow in a leather ace bandage. Oh ANTM, how I love the!
SMG ponders what a life size photo of her would look like; turns around in horror.
OMG! Either its 1995 again or Aaron Spelling has a soap opera production division in Heaven because its been a while since the night time line up seemed so brightly filled with trashy soaps! Of course I’m speaking about the Rs (insert pirate accent here), “Revenge” and “Ringer.”
“Revenge”, starring that dopey chick from “Brothers and Sisters” (thank God that crap was cancelled so I can stop watching it!) is trash in the best way possible. It centers around a bunch of rich Hamptoners and their complete inability to act like human beings. (my favorite!)
We also have Madeline Stowe and Amber Valetta as mean bitches who like to humiliate each other and a ‘You people killed my dad so I’m going to make your life hell’ plot line that is very MelrosePlacien.
And then we have “Ringer,” the drama starring Sarah Michelle ‘My dress looks like Boulliabase’ Gell-aar (yeah that’s right SMG-you’re a Jew, get over it).
Sarah Michelle plays IRISH twins, one who is a fall down drunk pretending to be the other, a snobby bitch who is presumed dead but is really in Paris trying to kill the sister pretending to be her. Ok it sounds complicated but in the best way possible. YAY!
Pick of the Day-Beth Arreguin turns the age when females stop revealing their age
Posted: September 21, 2011 in Goop
- Finally no more Bras!
For those of you too busy watching Asston Kutcher and that guy from Pretty in Pink (Really Juliana Marguiles?) on that terrible show Two and a Half Complete Losers, you missed the glory that was Chaz tittyless Bono on Dancing with the Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves Stars.
Honestly, this show is a complete stinker too. I hate the judges with a passion and the self-important yet utterly talentless stars they pick every year are worthless. Really-Some chick from the Hills? George Clooney’s ex piece? The Ambassador of Satan herself Nancy Grace? (ok maybe that one’s ok)
But if there is one reason to watch, it’s to see Chaz strut his very round self around the dancefloor. Hopefully, it coming weeks he will rip off his shirt in effigy and dance like bras never happened.
And just in case you were wondering what that would look like:
c/o GSI media
Pick of the Day – America’s Next Top Monstrosity All Rejects Edition
Posted: September 15, 2011 in Goop
Can you spot a model? No, me neither.
Last night was the premier of the 75th 17th cycle of America’s Next Top Catalog Smizer and what a welcome return it wasn’t.
Ok so the schizophrenic Tyra, who apparently ran out of Rachel Roy jumpsuits (seriously what was she wearing last night?), pulled together all of the ANTM rejects she could muster for the All Stars season.
We have Lisa ‘Da You say Tomato, I say you look 40,’ and ISIS ‘I ain’t got a penis no mo’ to name a couple. With the exception of googly-eyed Allison, this lot of booty-tooching fame whores seem kind of pathetic. The formula hasn’t changed much, with the exception of the live panel in front of an audience. Seriously, who paid these people to be there?
After all the models strutted their tired, coked-out asses to the stage to scream into the microphone, the panel sent home cycle 4 loser Brittany, who gets to go back to her day spa and dream of one day not sticking a hose up someone’s butt.
Nigel Barker has a weird growth spurt
Patrick's Picks 